Staying Sober Over the Holidays: Stories and Practical Plans

Christmas: A Time of Joy, Pressure and Vulnerability

For many people in recovery, the holiday season brings mixed emotions. Festive celebrations, family gatherings and end-of-year stress can create environments where alcohol and other substances are everywhere. Even people who usually feel confident in their recovery may notice cravings, emotional triggers or unexpected pressure during December and January.

The good news is that with preparation, support and the right mindset, it is completely possible to stay sober over the holidays. Many people even find that this time strengthens their recovery, because it provides a chance to practise new skills and build confidence in real-world situations.

In this article, we explore practical strategies, real client-inspired scenarios and ways to protect your wellbeing during the busiest time of the year.

Why the Holidays Are a High-Risk Time

The holidays often involve:

• Increased social gatherings

• Alcohol centred events

• Family conflicts or expectations

• Travel stress

• Financial pressure

• Disrupted routines

• Memories of past behaviour

• Loneliness for those spending the season away from family

These factors can create emotional friction, making old coping patterns feel tempting. Understanding this context is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of awareness. When you know what to expect, you can plan ahead and stay grounded.

For additional support, Healthify NZ offers helpful information about coping during stressful seasons.

Three Realistic Scenarios and How to Handle Them

The following scenarios are inspired by common experiences shared by people in recovery. Names and details are fictional, but the challenges are familiar to many.

Scenario 1: The Family Christmas with Old Tensions

Aiden is six months sober and excited to attend Christmas lunch with family. But he knows there will be alcohol, and old disagreements might resurface. He worries he may feel overwhelmed or judged.

What helps:

1. Set boundaries early
   Decide how long you will stay and who you will sit near. Let a supportive family member know you may step outside if things become tense.

2. Prepare a simple exit plan
   Drive yourself, bring taxi money or let someone know you may head home early.

3. Practise short grounding techniques
   Slow breathing, a short walk outside or a quick phone call to someone supportive.

4. Focus on connection, not perfection
   You do not need to have the perfect Christmas. You only need to protect your well-being.

Scenario 2: The Workplace Party With Free Drinks

Mia enjoys her job and has a good relationship with her colleagues, but the annual work function includes an open bar. She fears being the only sober person in the room.

What helps:

1. Bring or request alcohol free options
   Many venues offer alcohol free beer, kombucha or sparkling water.

2. Keep a drink in your hand
   This reduces social pressure for people to offer you alcohol.

3. Prepare simple responses

• "I am driving tonight."

• "I am taking a break from drinking."

• "I feel better without alcohol now."

Short and firm is enough.

4. Give yourself permission to leave early
Most workplace parties become alcohol focused later in the evening. Leaving early can protect your peace.

Scenario 3: Spending the Holidays Alone

Jordan recently completed rehab and feels nervous about spending Christmas Day alone. He worries loneliness will trigger cravings.

What helps:

1. Plan your day in advance
   Have scheduled activities, meals, calls and moments of rest.

2. Join community events
   Many community organisations, churches and volunteer groups offer inclusive meals.
   Volunteering can provide a sense of purpose and connection.

3. Reach out to your support network
   Arrange phone calls or video chats with people who care about your recovery.

4. Use the day for self-care rather than self-criticism
   It is completely okay to have a quieter holiday season. Many people in recovery find this restful.

Eight Practical Strategies for Staying Sober Over the Holidays

1. Build a Clear Plan Ahead of Time

Write down:

• Events you plan to attend

• Who you can call for support

• Your triggers

• Ways to manage them

• A brief exit strategy

A written plan increases confidence and reduces anxiety.

2. Create New Holiday Traditions

You might try:

• A morning walk

• A special breakfast

• A movie marathon

• Baking

• A small gift to yourself

• Outdoor activities

New traditions help break the link between holidays and old behaviours.

3. Bring Your Own Alcohol-Free Options

If you attend events, bring something enjoyable to drink. This removes guesswork and gives you a comforting sense of control. Alcohol-free craft beer, flavoured sparkling water or fancy sodas can feel festive without risk.

4. Practise Saying No Without Overexplaining

A simple, confident no is enough. Being overly apologetic can make you feel more exposed.

Instead, try phrases like:

• "No thanks, I am good with this."

• "I am keeping things alcohol free tonight."

• "I am focused on my health right now."

Most people accept this quickly.

5. Stay Active and Grounded

Physical movement helps reduce stress and cravings. Try:

• Walks

• Ocean dips

• Yoga

• Light workouts

• Gardening

• Cycling

Movement brings your nervous system back into balance.

6. Schedule Support Check-Ins

Arrange regular contact with:

• Friends in recovery

• Support groups

• A sponsor

• Your therapist

• Your aftercare team

If you need support options, you can learn more about Keystone Lodge’s aftercare programmes here:

7. Prioritise Sleep and Nutrition

Late nights, heavy meals and disrupted routines can increase emotional reactivity. Prioritise:

• Balanced meals

• Water

• Consistent sleep

• A calm morning routine

Looking after your body will help protect your emotional resilience.

8. Give Yourself Permission to Step Away

If a situation feels unsafe or overwhelming, you can leave. You do not need to push through discomfort to please others. Protecting your recovery is far more important than meeting expectations.

What to Do If You Experience Cravings

Cravings are normal, especially during high-pressure periods. They do not mean relapse is happening. They are simply a signal that your mind and body want support.

Try:

1. Delay
   Wait ten minutes. Most cravings peak quickly, then ease.

2. Distract
   Change your environment. Step outside, move your body, call a friend.

3. Drink water or have a snack
   Low blood sugar can mimic craving sensations.

4. Deep breathing
   Slow breathing helps reduce stress signals in the brain.

Remember that cravings do not have to be acted on. They pass, especially when you respond calmly.

If a Slip Happens

A slip is not a failure. It is a sign that you need support and possibly a stronger plan. Many people experience isolated slips during holidays. The most important step is to reach out quickly, talk honestly and reconnect with your recovery supports.

Keystone Lodge is available to help with relapse planning, aftercare and structured follow-up when needed.

A Message of Hope

Every year, thousands of people in recovery navigate the holidays successfully. They attend gatherings, connect with family, make new memories and stay committed to their wellbeing. You can be one of them.

The holiday season does not need to be defined by what you are avoiding. It can be defined by what you are building: clarity, confidence, meaningful relationships and a future that is steady and strong.

If you would like support developing a personalised holiday plan or strengthening your aftercare, the team at Keystone Lodge is here to help.